Appearances aren’t always what they seem. We’re a species very much concerned about our outer physical appearance, doing all sorts of things to make ourselves more attractive. Having that pearly white, perfect smile explains the 39.09 million Americans who were using tooth whiteners in 2017.
Another part of physical appearance on many minds is hair. One report suggests that 68% of women are unhappy with their hair. Similarly, with men, hair loss is something they generally don’t want to experience. Still, it happens, so there are certain strategies men use to conceal their rapidly balding heads. One Colombian man sought to conceal a little more than baldness recently.
Landing in Spain from Bogota, Colombia, authorities spotted the man with a very unusual looking toupee. With the FAA reporting more than 24,833,000 hours of general aviation every year, airport security personnel see a vast myriad of strange behavior. Sometimes it’s nothing, other times it’s this guy. Upon witnessing it and noticing how awkwardly nervous his behavior was, the airport security officers stopped him and made a discovery. The man had taped a bag of 503 grams of cocaine to the top of his bald head and attempted to conceal it beneath his toupee. Spoiler alert: it was not well hidden.
“His toupee was very curious, but the agents there have a lot of expertise and they pay attention to people’s attitude. His nervousness was very noticeable as he was about to pass the security checkpoint,” authorities reported.
What shakes out to more than a pound of cocaine was estimated to have a street value of over $33,000. The 65-year-old drug mule was taken into custody, charged with a crime against public health. He awaits prosecution in Spanish courts.
Spanish police have reported intercepting more than 100 kilograms of cocaine in 2018, so they’re no strangers to the ingenuity of the drug smuggling world. Between the absurd height of the toupee and his fidgety nervousness, this was arguably one of the least clever smuggling attempts. Nor was it the first hairpiece concealment attempt. Years back, another woman was discovered with some 900 grams sewn into her wig.
One thing is certain: our toupeed smuggler will forever have a terrifically ridiculous mugshot.