People go into marriages intending to be with their significant other forever. But that’s not always how things work out. Sometimes marriages fail, but that doesn’t mean all hope is lost for every couple. There are some major warning signs that your love might be fizzling out, and here’s how to know what they are and what you can do about it.
You’re Fighting Dirty (Or Bottling it Up)
The occasional spat is to be expected. But Brides says refusing to fight or fighting unfairly is a sign of trouble. The magazine says couples who simply sweep their issues under the rug aren’t doing anything positive for their relationship. If you’re feeling unsafe or uncomfortable discussing hard issues with your partner, you might only have a superficial connection. It’s healthy to disagree about different things, just as long as you take some time to properly talk it out. On the other hand, using cruel or dirty tricks to win or instigate fights is also a huge issue.
You’re Isolating Yourselves
The Huffington Post says if you both aren’t spending enough time together, your marriage could be dwindling. As your marriage progresses, it can be harder every day to make time for each other. It’s especially difficult if you have children. But when your job, your family, and your hobbies get in the way of your relationship, you might stop being friends and begin leading separate lives. Take some time to keep the spark alive by scheduling date and intimate time throughout the month. You can arrange dinners with your significant other and hire a babysitter to watch your kids. No matter how silly dating during your marriage might seem, it’s important.
Also, try simply giving some flowers to show your appreciation for your partner. Approximately 88% of survey respondents say receiving flowers changes their mood for the better.
You might also consider going to couple’s therapy and using that as your time to focus on your life together. According to research done by the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, over 98% of surveyed couples who underwent couple’s therapy reported that they received good or excellent help, and over 97% of those surveyed said they got the help they needed. After visiting the therapist’s office, you could decide to go out to dinner to discuss what you’ve both learned during the session.
How to Tell Your Kids About Your Marriage
If children are in the mix of your failing marriage, they probably know that something is going on. Kids know more than you may think, so it’s important to sit down with them for a discussion. While you do need to talk with them, you don’t need to tell them everything that’s going on. Your children don’t need to know that your life in the bedroom isn’t what it used to be. Remind them that even though you both are having a disagreement, it’s okay because you’re trying to sort things out. Children really only need the acknowledgement that something is going on; a short explanation will be just fine.
Researchers say marriages have about a 50% chance of lasting. To make sure yours lasts for many years to come, regardless of your differences, argue a bit, make time for each other, and talk with your children.