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We
all want people to do what we want them to do. That's only natural.
And there's nothing wrong with that, providing we also care about
how the outcome affects them. So, how do we get people to do what
we want, in a way they can feel like a winner as well? Through
Positive Persuasion, of course. But in doing so, we must keep
certain principles in mind, and base our win/win methods on those
principles. For instance, as we've mentioned in previous issues,
how do you effectively change the behavior of family members,
friends, difficult neighbors, an unhelpful customer service representative,
an "uncivil" civil servant, your kid's teacher, or practically
anyone else . . . including prospects, customers and clients??
The
principle we'll discuss in this week's issue was expertly taught
by Dale Carnegie, author of the classic, "How to Win Friends and
Influence People" (www.amazon.com). And that is:
"People
do things for their reasons, not ours."
So
make your reason, their reason. The fact is, their actions are
always based on their own self-interest (Remember, even when giving
charity, we do it because, since we believe it is right, it makes
us feel good about ourselves). We have two choices; complain that
life shouldn't be that way, or embrace the facts and utilize this
principle for the benefit of all concerned.
If
your request is "not" one with which the other person need comply,
you must give them a personal benefit for taking action! Find
THEIR reason, and present your request with that in mind.
Are
you planning to ask your boss for a raise? Realizing she doesn't
care that you are behind on your mortgage payment and really need
the money, you're better off explaining that based on past performance,
you could help her come in significantly under budget on the next
project. That, of course, would make her look great to her superiors
when she is seeking "her" raise (In other words, what's in it
for HER?).
Important
point: Everyone's "reason" is not necessarily money. Feeling good
about oneself is often the most powerful motivator of all! Difficult
people, in particular, tend to have a poor self-image. So take
a genuine, personal interest in those people. Show them more genuine
respect than they receive from the average person. Find out their
"why". What will move their emotional hot button to cause them
to take the action you want him or her to take. What's in it for
THEM ?
If
you nail that answer, the chances are they'll bend over backwards
to make you happy. That's win/win persuasion!
Bob
Burg is author of "Winning Without Intimidation" and "Endless
referrals". To receive 20% off on Bob's products visit www.yoursuccessstore.com.
To sign up for Bob's free weekly ezine visit his website at
www.burg.com.
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