Since that time I've been working on my own personal development. And I must admit that this has been the most challenging assignment of all. This business of personal development lasts a lifetime.

You see, what you become is far more important than what you get. The important question to ask on the job is not, "What am I getting?" Instead, you should ask, "What am I becoming?" Getting and becoming are like Siamese twins: What you become directly influences what you get. Think of it this way: Most of what you have today you have attracted by becoming the person you are today.

I've also found that income rarely exceeds personal development. Sometimes income takes a lucky jump, but unless you learn to handle the responsibilities that come with it, it will usually shrink back to the amount you can handle.

If someone hands you a million dollars, you'd better hurry up and become a millionaire. A very rich man once said, "If you took all the money in the world and divided it equally among everybody, it would soon be back in the same pockets it was before."

It is hard to keep that which has not been obtained through personal development

So here's the great axiom of life:

This is where you should focus most of your attention. Otherwise, you just might have to contend with the axiom of not changing, which is:

To Your Success,
Jim Rohn

There are those parents who stand back and allow children to make decisions about all manner of behaviors from suitable bedtime to how long they spend in front of the television each day. 

Conversely, some parents make too many decisions for children to protect them from harm. They decide everything from what coat children should wear to what sports they should participate in. This is a case of good intention but poor practice. 

Children at any time are in three states – they either out of control, under control or in control. Hopefully your children are not out of control but many parents think that they are successful if their children are under their control. This is a little scary because sooner or later kids will break out and rebel against overly strong authority – either that or they never grow up. It is far better for children to be in control and learning to make decisions for themselves.

The difficulty for most parents is knowing when to make decisions for children and young people and when to stand back and allow them to decide. 

As a guide break choices, rules and activities that concern children into three areas:

Parents Rule: these are decisions where there is no negotiation. E.g. going to school, young children's bedtime

Work it out together: these are areas where you and your child negotiate outcomes. E.g. when to come home from an outing, TV programs.

Kids Decide: give your children full authority in some areas. E.g. choose the sport they play, school activities

As children grow and show the ability to make sensible decisions allow them more authority over their lives. This demonstrates your trust in them and your faith in their ability to make good decisions. It also promotes confidence in children and young people.

As a rule parents make most of the decisions for very young children. Let's face it, three years olds don't negotiate very well but even at this young age they can make their own decisions in areas such as clothing or eating that concern them. It is important that children experience the consequences of their decisions if they are to make responsible choices. So if kids decide to skip a meal then they can wait until the next meal before eating something substantial. This teaches them that their decisions have a result or a consequence. 

The use of choices is one simple strategy that helps children make good decisions, however it is a hugely misunderstood concept. Offering children and young people choices doesn't mean they can do as they wish nor does it mean that parents provide a smorgasbord of choices. Wise parents will offer children two options to choose from – "Either play inside quietly or go outside if you wish to make a noise."  In some ways this offers the illusion of choice but some children need this sort of assistance and guidance to help them make smart decisions. 

Kids very often can't see the long-term consequences of their decisions so it helps to give them information to help them make smart choices. This includes an array of activities ranging from choosing appropriate clothes when young through to information about alcohol and its affects for older children. There is a subtle difference between telling kids what to do and giving them information and guidance to help them make good decisions. 

The Three BIG Questions that promote good decision-making: 

All decisions have a consequence. Some are positive and some have a negative consequence. To help your child or young person to weigh up the consequences of a decision tell them about the BIG THREE QUESTIONS that they should ask whenever they are confronted with a choice that they are unsure about:

Decision-making is hard work for parents as we are always treading a fine line between being too protective and not protecting children enough. But if we want children to begin to make smart choices and be in control rather than out of or under control we need to equip them with knowledge and skills as well as opportunities to do so.

This fellow is still working, surprisingly, so I won't give his name. He was the opening speaker in a seminar I attended early in my speaking career and he nearly closed the show early with his monotone, unenthusiastic presentation. As he spoke, the room grew as quiet as a graveyard between funerals.

I went to sleep to be awakened by what could only be called courtesy applause for his presentation. You could make more noise clapping with one hand. After the less-than-stirring speech, I leaned over to the guy sitting next to me and said, "That was really boring." And he said, "You should be so boring for the kind of money he makes." The fellow told me this terrible speaker was making $5,000 for each terrible speech.

After hearing how much money a really bad speaker could make, I decided it was time for me to go after this dream. A few days later, I caught a Greyhound bus from Miami to Orlando where I'd signed up for a seminar for beginners held by the National Speakers Association. It seemed like the bus ride took weeks. I know it took every last dollar I could scrape together. And so I was road-weary but eager to hear some inspiring, motivational, and dynamic speaking when I finally took a seat at the event. But who should walk out to lead the first session but that same terrible $5,000-per-speech speaker? I could not believe it!

All that time on a stinking bus, stopping in every one-horse town between Miami and Orlando, to hear this guy again? I nearly got up and walked out. By the time he'd gotten halfway through his speech, nearly half the audience had fled. But I stayed on until the bitter end and the speaker's parting shot, as it turned out, was worth the price of admission. He obviously had noted the exodus of the audience and the drooping eyelids of those who remained because, as he built up to his anticlimax, he stopped suddenly, looked out at the remaining numbers of aspiring public speakers and said, "You know, the only reason that I am standing up here and you are sitting down there is that I represent the thoughts that you have rejected for yourself."

I don't know about the other dozen or so people in the audience, but Mr. Monotone hit me right between the eyes with that shot. It was true. He had acted upon something that I had only dreamt of doing. I'd spent years dreaming of becoming a public speaker. But dreaming was all I had done. This guy may not have had any talent for it. He may have been the most undynamic public speaker in history. But he was up there while I was still dreaming. And so that is how I became motivated to start a new career by perhaps the worst motivational speaker I have ever heard.

What you will notice is that the ones that give the more concise answers will tend to be the one's that you viewed to be successful in the first place. Why is this you ask? The best I can say is that (for the majority of the time) the people that achieve great things in their lives have plans set forth. They don't leave their achievements to chance!

Here's a personal example of where I witnessed the power of not leaving things to chance. It's an example that hits really close to home! You see, my sister Mary Kate had just graduated from the University of Alabama with a degree in Public Relations. I am sure you PR majors can attest to the fact that landing a job in this field can be a test at times. Much less ones choice position. So imagine my surprise when my sister went on to say that not only did she want a job in her field, but that she wanted to live in Nashville, TN and work in the entertainment sector of PR.

Admittedly even as positive as I generally am I was worried that this goal of hers wasn't quite realistic. What I hadn't counted on though was that my little sister's persistence and definite purpose far outweighed any doubt that I might have had for her lofty goal! The months went on and she applied and applied to jobs in the area she wished to move to.

Sure she heard her share of no's along the way, but she just kept pushing onward. Then it happened! She was asked to interview with a public relations firm that specialized in country music entertainers. To some it might be easy to say "well she was just lucky". My friend, as someone that was there first hand I assure you luck had very little to do with it (while persistence certainly did).

Let's review what came into play in the previous example. My sister had a goal. More than just a goal she had a definite plan that she knew she needed to  diligently put into place so that her desire would be achieved. She worked the plan no matter what short term failures came her way in the form of no's.

Simply put, her plan met with rugged persistence and I am happy to say that while I lost my little sister to a new town she is in fact living the life she planned for herself. I hope you're in the process of putting together a personal plan to help you achieve that which you want to see in your life. It takes work, but the benefits are wonderful... 

Your friend in cyberspace, Josh Hinds